here we go

Monday, April 25, 2011, 12:59:50 AM
Of course I cant sleep. Today is the first big day.I wanted to explain a bit more how all of this goes down. I am going to have AT LEAST six of these procedures. Three this week and three next week. And if the doctor feels I'm not at my best, i will have follow up treatments for the next five months. However, if he feels that it is not working, he will stop after the sixth treatment. BUT, if he thinks I am at my best after the sixth treatment, he will also stop then as well. From what I've read and what the nurse told me. I'll probably forget conversations and occassions that have happened the last couple weeks to months. So dont be surprised if I repeat myself or forget something. I called my sister tonite and said (jokingly of course) "Goodbyeeee my sister..I will talk to you tomorrow...that is.... if i remember you tomorrow...goodbyeeee." haha you had to be there. I told my dad he better give me a hug in case I die...he said.."Well, dont call me, call 911 or the Ghostbusters." Us Loys can have a warped sense of humor. I remember when my grandma had incurable cancer and she was trying on clothes that she wanted to wear to her own funeral. hahaahha SHe laid on the couch crossed her arms over her chest and made my aunts hold a body length mirror over her so she could see what she looked like. hahaha She was ready to go HOME!! Anyway, I would write more about my depression but I'm tired and rather emotional and trying to stay calm. I leave in four and a half hours. *biting nails vigorously*